yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
