She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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