I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
