Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
