Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
