Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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