what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize