There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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