WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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