I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
