Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize