what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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