you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
