I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
