Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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