My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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