I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
