No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
