I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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