If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
