any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
