im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
