I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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