OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
