My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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