I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
