My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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