Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
