I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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