That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
