he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
