You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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