Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
