The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
