My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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