Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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