my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize