first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I looked at my own cervix.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
