uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
