It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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