you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
