he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
