You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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