Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
