how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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