I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
