I seem to have left my pride at pride
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
