Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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