Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
