Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
