There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
