there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
