Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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