May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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