wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
