Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
