i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I want to fling myself into the sun
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