Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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