oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
my liver is dry heaving
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
