yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
