Need sex. Gaining weight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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