she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize