I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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