the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
