That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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